I know I haven't been blogging much. I haven't been reading many of my regular blogs either. Missy is on another down slide and I'm not sure there will be an up slide this time. I swear it started as soon as I said she was doing great. It was a jinx. We've had to fiddle abit with her meds and the result isn't what I had hoped. I sometimes feel like she is simply existing these days. Not the life I want for any of my dogs. Between her sleeping and eating (and the much more frequent accidents due to some incontinence) there is falling down, stumbling, whining and moments of complete disorientation. Even eating her favorite treats is done with an automatic response and none of her previous joy. If it weren't for the prednisone I'm not sure she would be eating at all. I am taking it one day at a time for now. It kills me to think I may not have many more left with her.
I am second guessing myself about the looming decision right now too. I don't want to jump the gun but don't want to make her suffer either. I've said for years the worst part of having pets is losing them. I think I want to change that to the worst part is having to make the decision to let them go. Emotion clouds our judgement. Am I really seeing the situation clearly or am I in denial and am hanging on beyond what is fair to her? I'm not sure. My family thinks she is ready to go. I am the last hold out. Are they seeing something I am not? Living with a sick dog and trying to keep life as normal as possible for the rest of us all is also draining me. I feel I am falling short, for everyone. It is truely a no win situation.
I just have no heart for much blogging right now.