Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The end of year vent post

I have a blog stalker.
But some of you already knew that. It is most of the time simply an annoyance. I try to not acknowledge that she is there but she is. She reads my blog regularly and likes to comment on occasion. (check out the last few post comments to see for yourself) Sometimes I let the comments through because it shows how she acts. Perhaps I shouldn't but she keeps accusing me of things so I find it is my only defense. Let everyone see the stuff she says to me and judge for themselves.
She even has a link to this blog on hers under "worrisome" so that others know what she thinks of me. A fact I find pretty funny since this gives people the opportunity to read about positive methods. (Thank you for this BTW!) But I am in good company there since she also thinks Jean Donaldson and Patricia McConnell PhD are also on the worrisome list. She also routinely attacks others in the positive training field as well. People like Dr. Ian Dunbar and Dr. Nicholas Dodman. You know, people who have no clue about dog behavior. (insert eye roll here)
I find it odd that she wastes her time attacking me. I am not in direct competition with her, we do not share an area at all. We don't even share training interests! (She shows in competition obedience, I do not nor is it my goal as I have admitted in past posts.) I guess being online makes is in the same area to her however. We do seem to use different methods in training from what I gather from her training posts and from videos I have watched with her doing e-collar training. (cringe-worthy in my opinion) I admit that there are many ways to train a dog. I've even used some of those methods in the past. She has accused me of "drinking the kool-aid of the positive reinforcement cult" in response to my thoughts on positive training vs the other methods. Guilty on that count I suppose, though I don't remember any Kool-Aid at our secret meetings. I'm sure it must be from the brain washing.
Guess what people, I prefer positive training. I don't keep it a secret. I try to explain why I like it and why people should use it over the alternative because NEWS FLASH, this is MY blog! It is where I get to talk about things I know and love. If you don't like these methods, or my thoughts, DON'T READ IT! I'm sure there are many other blogs you can find with like minded people out there. Go read them and jump on their wagon. Please. I'm sure they will enjoy your company. (unless they already gave you the boot too)
What I also find hard to understand is the need to tear me down at every turn. She accuses me of doing this to her but all my comments directed to her (on another blog-Maine Pets link found on right) were only in response to things she has said to me first. I simply made the mistake of disagreeing with her about the availability of dog training seminars in the area. (Seriously, that is what started the whole thing in October of 08, silly no? My kingdom for a time machine.) Sadly she got booted from that blog recently for her unprofessional conduct and all my proof in the form of those posts are now gone for the general public to find. She made it personal instead of simply disagreeing with the training methods and just keeps coming back at me.
She didn't just target me either, she also came after people who's blogs I read and comment on as well. (Sorry Katie!) Apparently anyone she disagrees with she likes to attack. There is no such thing as an adult dialogue with her where you agree to disagree. I know because in the beginning I tried. She is a master of twisting words and intentions.
I have to say this is seriously pissing me off.
And before she screams "libel" at me once again and threatens to sue me, again, I ask you to find just ONE reference to her by name on this blog. I even have a nice search option to help with that. Go ahead, look her up. You won't find it because it isn't there. Never happened. She shows herself with her comments to me instead.
As to her claim that I tear down other trainers, the only one I can think of is Cesar Millan who is a public figure and yes I disagree with him and his methods. I do not however, attack him personally, just the method he uses. See that part about this being MY blog?? Yup. My blog, my opinion. It lets me say what I want just like she does when she references other trainers (mostly negatively) on her other blog routinely. (Including myself who she HAS named as an example of a bad trainer. Hmm maybe I am the one who has cause for a libel suit??) The only other trainer I have referred to stayed anonymous as trainer X so I could get correct information out there in rebuttal to bad info being given out in the first place.
I do not name trainers nor tear them down. You know why? Because I believe in my methods and the training I do. I do not need to tear others down in order to look better. I am confident in the services I provide. Talking about others is so high school and unprofessional that it astounds me that someone who claims to be a professional in the business is doing it.
It also annoys me greatly that I am once again having to post about said blog stalker. I feel it is unprofessional for me to do. However I am determined to not simply roll over and take it any longer. This is however the very last time she-who-shall-not-be-named is ever referred to again. Her comments will all be blocked and NOT even read in the future. I do love my delete button. Wait, strike that. I may keep them for my files so I have proof of the idiocy if ever needed in the future. (She keeps threatening these lawsuits, I say bring it on.) I am no longer going to continue to waste one more second of my life on this childish crap if I can help it.
So this is my end of the year vent. No more reinforcing what clearly to her is positive attention. To some people even negative attention is positive after all. (this applies to dog behavior as well) Enough is enough and though she may find some fun in it I do not. Nor do I find it productive in any way. If she wants to present herself in that way to the general public she can have at it.
There is a saying that seems to apply here: "There is no sense in fighting with a pig. You both get dirty but the pig likes it."


GardenMorphos said...

I am sorry to hear of the problems you are having with this person. I haven't read your blog for long, just shy of a year, but I haven't seen anything wrong with your method. I appreciate your positive approach to training; I have seen much better training results from positive reinforcement with my own and other dogs than I have seen with the old "punish 'em when they misbehave" mentality. I'm not a personal trainer, I haven't ever taken a class on training. I just see that remaining positive and loving with an animal that is based on loyalty and love goes a lot further.

The rest of this may be a bit forward since this is the first time that we've met (or that I've posted a response), but I wonder in some capacity if you shouldn't apply this "positive training" approach to how you deal with this negative person. I know it's hard to ignore the negative traits that this person is displaying, and the actions and comments they are making against you. We're human, and we want to defend ourselves, but "rewarding" these actions by giving them what they want (to see that they are bothering you or getting under your skin) only goes to further their behavior.

Anyway, that's my two cents. Thanks for the great training insight, and the wonderful blog. I hope that you can put these actions behind you, and continue to write. I know i look forward to reading.

Have a wonderful and successful New Year!!!

Mrs. Lazaro said...

You are the least worrisome person I know, Marie. :]

Marie said...


I totally agree. It is only reinforceing to this person. It is one reason I hesitated to write this post at all. However I felt is was nessasary if only for me to be able to blow off steam about the issue. That which doesn't vent will explode eventually after all. Consider it my end of year blow out. All positive thoughts from now on. :-)

Thanks for the comment!

Thank you Mrs. Lazaro! Hugs to Apollo, Jenna and the boys. :-)

Anonymous said...

Positive does not equal permissive.

Anonymous said...

This is actually very interesting to me. I was driven to this blog from a link posted and shared on Facebook under the heading "STupid is forever". So, it looks like your "stalker" is actually driving traffic to your blog and ultimately your website.

While I disagree with several of the training points noted on this blog, (I'm one of those nasty ecollar trainers) I fully respect the opinion and rights of other trainers and their methods when used properly. Am I against positive reinforcement training? Nope. I use it all the time. As a matter-of-fact I use it in addition to my ecollar training. Did I just blow your mind?

I'm fully confident in my training approach and no one can tear me down. They can try. I'll be the one out training the dogs while others are arguing on blogs about methods and who's right and who's wrong.

I'd just like to make one last point. I NEVER put down another trainer or the method they choose to use (not withstanding abuse of course). I may think something is silly...but who knows? I might just need to adopt whatever tool or method I thought was silly someday. So for now, we will just have to agree to disagree.

I will definately follow this blog now. I wasn't aware of it until tonight. Hopefully my comment won't be moderated...

Happy training. :)

Marie said...

Anon, Thanks for the comment. Glad you found me.:-)

I actually also have clients who use e-collars too. (e-fencing only)While it isn't my favorite tool I prefer that people learn how to most appropriately use them if they are going to. (Which is also why I am not a member of The Purely Positive faction in positive trainers.)

My response was more about HER use of the tool from the videos I saw. Treating aggression with an e-collar is not something I, nor many others would recommend. I am not against all force training either. I am against how some people use it however. (hell some people even use positive methods incorrectly as well) And I do prefer positive whenever possible. (having used both methods in the past)

To me CM's methods are abusive and is the reason I speak out against them.

Thank you for the "adult" reply to my blog and post. It is appreciated. Come again! :-)

Anonymous said...

Sounds like your stalker is stupid. Or maybe mentally ill? Either way, not professional and not the type of behavior I would pay to be around. Maybe they should take classes on how to us social media.
So sorry you have to put up with it. At least they are driving new people to your blog.